CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE
Moving forward with an inspired idea,
like raising your prices or maybe even to start charging for your craft/creative service, or contemplating a career change can feel uplifting and exciting, as well as weighted and draining. Talk about a mix of emotions! None of us is immune to feeling one or all of these feelings. It’s all in the way we handle the emotions, especially when they are simultaneously exuberating and frightening.
“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Anytime we look to step into the arena and be seen with a new thought or idea; or with a talent, craft, new career, or creative service, we know we will take the risk of failing. No one is immune to the possibly of failure.
So why are there those who seem as if they never fail?
They have it all; they’ve figured it out. If I had to guess, it’s probably because they’ve failed A LOT in the past! These “winners” are aware of the possibly of failing, but the reward is greater than the risk, and that is enough to motivate them.
- They focus on the end game!
- They don’t dwell on the failed parts or think long about past failures.
- They learned the lessons and use them to keep moving, either by changing course or by enhancing the part of the process that failed.
- They ask for help and support. Many rely on other’s expertise and wisdom to help move through obstacles, to problem solve, and to teach us something new.
- They are relentless. (Relentlessness is a trait I find admirable. I wish I embodied it more often so that I was relentless in my desires.)
So why doesn’t everyone feel like they could fail a 100 times and start over 101 times?
Even all the inspiration, excitement, talents, and passion combined with the organized planned action steps sometimes isn’t enough to overcome the swell of fear, doubt, worry, and confusion that comes also with turning your vision into reality.
Motives are questioned; ideas, thoughts, and actions are played down until there is no more enthusiasm. And the craft, creative service, the talent, the ideas, and dreams never even get a chance to fail or succeed, for that matter, before we sometimes give up.
“Timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
At the very least, this is all very concerning because it is too large a part of creating our own reality.
So how do you move past the inner critic, the self doubt, the fear of stepping into the arena (which is often filled with “unknowns”)? What is it going to take this time to step over the emotions holding us back?
Where are you going to get the clarity and confidence?
If you are like me, this is where confusion begins! Yep, and plopped right there on top of the doubt are fear and worry. I get so overwhelmed by emotions that I can’t even formulate where to start!
ME!!! Someone who has designed a Goal Setting Summit with actionable steps and motivation tools to help keep moving! YES, ME!
And so another monologue from my inner critic sabotages my chances of even stepping foot into the ring! Next, that creepy imposter feeling starts settling in and the results are extremely paralyzing. Getting in that arena?! NO WAY; I can’t even move, and I haven’t even take one step toward it!
So where do I go from here?
Now that I am not only starting with something totally new or almost new, I have to dig myself out of the “Am I enough” hole that I freely dove into just as the inspiration was flowing!
In this hidy hole, I can’t make a move even if someone was dragging me by the hand! So I sit here.
In fact, while developing the pillars in this challenge, I literally felt paralyzed for three days before I grabbed my computer and just started typing. I was at the bottom of the “self doubt hole!” I know how it feels. I’ve lived it.
Before I started typing, I knew I needed some reflection time. What’s really behind this fear, doubt, and worry? What’s the worst that could happen if I failed?
I literally asked questions like: Why am I stuck? What am I avoiding? Why can’t I just start? No one else could answer these questions for me. And if I can’t answer, I seek tried and true support, tools, and systems.
These methods include journaling, meditating, prayer, getting back to nature, affirmations, choice statements, and EFT (tapping the body’s meridians to move negative energy out). I’m sure there are others great tools out there to help, and the best part is that you can get them for free. And believe me, the cost in time that they take to do is well worth it when you actually do step into that arena!
This paralyzing feeling has hung around for six months or more, and I’ve just been treading water. But when I became ok with it, because that’s just the place where I am, that is when things started to shift.
Was I content parked in neutral?
Oh, HELL NO!
But I sat there in the hole asking why while giving myself extra doses of self love until I felt confident enough to stand up and step out of the hole. The tools work, and using them consistently will help keep us out of the hole of self doubt and worry, or at the very least, springboard us out of there sooner than the last time.
You deserve to be free to move in the directions of your dreams! Sometimes we all just need a little extra TLC along the way.
Let’s not get awareness mixed up with reality
As you move into a new year or new season or new something . . . and you find a good bit of confusion about where/how to start, and begin putting conditions on the “why” of even moving into the arena, take heart. These signs are a good indication that you’re in the hole of self doubt. This awareness, my friends, is key!
But let’s not get awareness mixed up with reality.
You are in control of your reality. Let’s face it, if you are reading this, you have a computer or access to one and it has wifi. You have amazing resources if you have the internet. So yes, you have control over your reality. What you keep feeding yourself daily is going to reflect your reality.
- Awareness helps you understand the parts of the system that need to be changed!
- Awareness is the beginning of hope and new ideas from which you can grow and cultivate a new, more fruitful reality – one that is more aligned with goals and visions.
- Awareness is a skill you are inherently given but you have to use it often, hear the messages, and use it as a helpful map to guide you in the direction of your next step. You must call on your awareness to help answer those confusing questions.
- You have choices and you have the means to move out of your reality whether you are living in joy or despair. My hope is that you never get so comfortable with your current reality that you stop being a visionary and dreamer. It’s in our nature to reach a goal or a dream with a new one trailing close behind, asking us to grow and give more. (This is not to wear us down, but to feed the very creative nature we are destined to cultivate.)
- Awareness acts to benefit us because we get to (pre)choose to remove ourselves from the reality of a situation or circumstance before we step into the situation (arena). It gives us the opportunity to expose what is holding us back so we can let it go, shake it off, heal whatever it is that is keeping us from progressing forward.
I am not saying your are not going to fail if you let go of what’s keeping you from getting started. I’m saying that if you are able to seek clarity and confidence to step into the arena, then you not only have set yourself up for success, you have a polished skill that will help in any battle that greets you in that arena.
Here’s to getting started! >>> FREE download – SEEK Worksheet
Here’s to the clarity and confidence that put us in the game!
Here’s a trick that works for me to get in that arena: part of my awareness is that I am an obliger (from the book: The Four Tendencies). If I say I am going to do something, I do it. And I feel awful, shameful when I don’t! So I have an idea that I know will be a great one but the self doubt emotions come rushing in. To keep my focus, I put it out there that it’s going to happen even before I have it completed.
So, I am obligated to finish! It’s scary but it works. And if I still can’t make a move, I dive deeper into self discovery mode and SEEK out clarity and confidence! If you use the tools and are consistent about asking the questions and listening to the awareness that comes up, clarity and confidence come every time.